Potions

Writing a book is like making a potion.
        You know what all the ingredients are and what they do, but you don't have any recipe to tell you how to put them together. You start by grabbing a few ingredients that seem interesting for your premise. Then you select your main ingredients, which are your plot. Of course, there are all the plot points that everyone always uses, but then there are more obscure, interesting ones hiding on the back of the shelf and in corners, gathering dust. I wish I could see them all lined up like potion ingredients, but I guess that's what www.tvtropes.org has done for me. I don't start my potion with the main ingredients; I gather them and keep adding them as I go along. This is sometimes difficult because if there's not enough of the main ingredients, you end up with something, but it's not what you wanted. 
The hardest part of making the potion is starting it. How much of the main ingredients should you introduce? You should always have character development, but if you start with a vague scene as a prologue, you need very little (and then a lot in chapter 1). 
        Then comes the fun part: selecting your worldbuilding ingredients. There are thousands of them. Of course, there are the ones everybody uses like medieval fantasy (which I am totally guilty of using), because those are the easiest to use. Then there are the tiny little bottles on the top shelf that no one notices are there. Mixing them together in different ways creates something completely different. Worldbuilding is fun, but a potion can't be all worldbuilding, or it wouldn't have any effect. When you have too much, add a few dollops of plot and sprinkle in some character development. 
        Once you've got some of your ingredients lined up, you can start actually making your potion. 
        I love to grind up dialogue with a mortar and pestle, add it in specific amounts, stir, and then dump in the rest. Sometimes I put a potion on hold and let it simmer, and sometimes I work on it vigorously. I often select my ingredients as I go along, which leaves me stuck staring at the ingredient shelves and cabinets for hours. If I make a mistake, in writing, unlike in potion making, I can go back and revise it. Sometimes, though, have to trash my potion and start all over.
        Hopefully, I'll end up with a potion that looks good, tastes good, and has the effect I want so I can bottle it and share it with people.

What is Goth?

Yes, I know it's a youtube thing, but just to start...

Goth Tag:
1. How long have you been goth? 
About one year.
2. How were you introduced to goth? 
I've been interested in the Shadow Complex and dark aesthetic for a long time, so I decided to look into it. I'm not sure exactly how long I've been aware of it.
3. What Gothic sub genre would you put yourself in? 
Romantigoth and/or ethergoth
4. What do you believe to be the bases of the Gothic subculture?
A dark aesthetic and mindset, with an appreciation for individuality and the unconventional.
5. What do you dislike about being Goth? 
The music. I really don't like the music. Some goths believe you have to like at least some of it to be goth. I understand their viewpoint, but I really, really don't like the music. I basically don't like anything metal, punk, or rock oriented in terms of music, fashion, and community. 
6. What do your parents think of it? 
They seem fine with it.
7. Eyebrow or no eyebrows?
Eyebrows. I don't wear makeup.
8. What is your favourite band?
NOX ARCANA! 
9. Your opinion on Marilyn Manson?
No. Just no. Not my style.
10. What were your baby bat days like?
Still a babybat 

 The only question the tag DOESN'T ask, for whatever reason, is why are you Goth? There can be a LOT of different answers to this question, and that depends on what your definition of Goth is. 
        The word "Goth" technically refers to a subculture that developed around eighties' post-punk music. There are some people (like the tumblr blogger thisisnotgoth) who believe that things are truly "Goth" only if they relate directly to the eighties music scene. There are also plenty of elitist Goths that believe that unless you look/act/think a certain way, you're "not Goth enough". This elitist attitude goes against the point of being Goth, which is to be original, authentic, unconventional, and non-conformitive. (Think of the Goths from South Park-- "To be one of the non-conformists, you have to dress like us and listen to the same music that we do." How ironic is that?) There are no rules to being Goth, EXCEPT-- 
        You have to like the music.
        Some Goths believe that you have to like at least one song by one traditional artist to call yourself "Goth". Why consider yourself part of a music-based subculture if you don't actually listen to the music? I understand their argument, but although the music may have been the essence of what Goth is two decades ago, I believe it isn't anymore. Of course, that's because I'm a babybat, right? Of course it is! I wasn't alive during the heydays of the music, so what do I know? Maybe I'll warm up to it eventually. I'm already warming up to Nightwish (which isn't a Goth band, to be clear).  The writer of a response blog to thisisnotgoth was a member of the original scene, and believes that appreciation of that kind of music comes naturally to darkly inclined people, like a tendency to wear black (I agree with many of her opinions, but not this one). 
        I don't hate the music. I hate screamo. I'd listen to gothic rock if it came on, certainly, but it's not the kind of thing that I would download and listen to on a daily basis. Liking for music such as Nox Arcana's (and other dark music by fantasy artists)  comes naturally for me, just as liking for Siouxie and the Banshees, Bauhaus, and the Cure comes naturally to other Goths. What confuses me is that Nox Arcana is not commonly listened to in the gothic community. On ultimategothguide.blogspot.com, there is a list of other artists that Goths listen to besides the traditional ones. Nox Arcana wasn't even mentioned. Seriously, if Goths don't listen to it, who would? It's very, very creepy music! Of course, Nox Arcana wouldn't appeal to all Goths. Nox Arcana is the kind of music you'd waltz to under a full moon in a velvet cape, not headband to in fishnets and spikes, but still! 
        I sort of wish that I liked the traditional artists a little more, because then I could share that with other Goths and feel more apart of the community. I haven't wanted to consider myself "Goth" (like I haven't wanted to consider myself "Wiccan"), because I don't fit that one requirement. I also wish more Goths were into dark fantasy music. I guess I'm SO unconventional and non-conformist, I listen to music that even Goths have never heard of! 
        Of course, realistically, Goth is not a subculture that surrounds the music. Maybe it started that way, and a true Goth knows the history and significance of the traditional bands, but it's evolved beyond that now. The reason why I've been drawn to the subculture is not because of its music or the traditional aspects of the subculture that are directly related to the music-- I couldn't care less about hair dye, spikes, and deathrock. Goth is the community of the darkly inclined. If the word Goth pertained only to the music subculture, then Romantigoths, Victorian Goths, and Pastel Goths wouldn't be called "Goths", whether they enjoy the music or not. There have always been darkly inclined people, even before the eighties bands; the Addams Family are from the thirties, and gothic novels became popular a century earlier! There always will be darkly inclined people, and in two decades, the next generation of darkly inclined individuals will be even less likely to listen to eighties bands than I am! The community is evolving; is it really a music-based subculture anymore? Is it? If that was all it was, I wouldn't have been drawn to it because of my interests, fashion sense, and for that matter, music tastes that are not traditionally Goth but are still darkly inclined. 
        For that matter, if the word "Goth" does refer to the subculture surrounding the post-punk genre of music, maybe "Goth" shouldonly describe that, and not the community as a whole. Maybe the community needs to start calling it something different, like maybe… Shadows? 

Shadowbook

Well, I finished my novel Shadowbook today! I originally wrote this book when I was twelve, and I've been working on the rewrite for a year. I am very, very pleased with the way it came out.
Shadowbook is a gothic Cinderella story, based on the Jungian Shadow Complex. It is about a foster girl called Nyx. Exploring her own dark side gives her solace from her life, but it does not actually change anything. The tables turn when she meets Astor, a mysterious, handsome, debonair Shadow boy who falls in love with her and promises her a new life. But Shadows feed off people's souls, and Astor has a taste for the souls of young women. Can she trust him?

Writing Shadowbook has been quite an experience. I have explored and integrated with my own dark side (represented by Astor). I've enjoyed learning about psychology and writing a gothic novel. One of the most interesting things about Shadowbook is how it includes both modern concepts and ancient fairy tale concepts. I've analyzed Shadowbook's fairy tale themes, psychological themes, gothic themes,  and also how it relates to other books.

I'm very happy with it :D Now to celebrate by playing dark, gloomy music!

Music Lists: Celtic Lore

"The Forest Queen" by Peter Gundry

"Elan" by Secret Garden

"A Celtic Lore" by Adrian von Ziegler

"Wings of Freedom" by BrunuhVille

"The Market Song" by Faun 

"Prophecy" by Adrian von Ziegler

"Lore of the Loom" by Secret Garden

"The Wedding" by Enaid

 "Rhiannon" by Faun

"Fear No Darkness" by Adrian von Ziegler

"I Know My Love" by The Chieftains with The Corrs

"Music for a Found Harmonium" by the Penguin Cafe Orchestra

"The Wolf and the Moon" by BrunuhVille

"Guardians of the Woods" by BrunuhVille

"Moonsong" by Adrian von Ziegler

"Ynis avalach" by Faun

"A Celtic Tale" by Adrian von Ziegler

"Children of the River" by Secret Garden

"Oyneng yar" ("Dance my Love") by Faun

"Alkonyvarazś" ("Twilight Magic") by The Moon and the Nightspirit
("fak" is Hungarian and means TREES. TREES!) 

"Huron (Beltane) Fire Dance" by Loreena McKennitt

"Dance with Dragons" by BrunuhVille

"Scarborough Faire" by Irish and Celtic Music

"Going Home" by Terry Oldfield

"The Sky and the Dawn and the Sun" by Celtic Woman

The Cat Days of Christmas

Merry Christmas, everybody! My sister and I wrote this last year.

On the first day of Christmas, my owners gave to me…
A scratching post shaped like a Christmas tree
(DUN DAH-DUN!) 

On the second day of Christmas, my owners gave to me…
2 catnip things
And a scratching post shaped like a Christmas tree
(DUN DAH-DUN!) 

On the third day of Christmas, my owners gave to me…
3 old strings
2 catnip things
And a scratching post shaped like a Christmas tree
(DUN DAH-DUN!) 

On the fourth day of Christmas, my owners gave to me…
4 ribbon sticks
3 old strings
2 catnip things
And a scratching post shaped like a Christmas tree
(DUN DAH-DUN!) 

On the fifth day of Christmas, my owners gave to me…
5 FEATHER TOYS! (BUM-BA-DUM-BUM-BUM-BUM)
4 ribbon sticks
3 old strings
2 catnip things
And a scratching post shaped like a Christmas tree
(DUN DAH-DUN!) 

On the sixth day of Christmas, my owners gave to me…
6 cans of cat food
5 FEATHER TOYS! (BUM-BA-DUM-BUM-BUM-BUM) 
4 ribbon sticks
3 old strings
2 catnip things
And a scratching post shaped like a Christmas tree
(DUN DAH-DUN!) 

On the seventh day of Christmas, my owners gave to me…
7 cardboard boxes
6 cans of cat food
5 FEATHER TOYS! (BUM-BA-DUM-BUM-BUM-BUM)
4 ribbon sticks
3 old strings
2 catnip things
And a scratching post shaped like a Christmas tree
(DUN DAH-DUN!) 

On the eighth day of Christmas, my owners gave to me…
8 fluffy beds
7 cardboard boxes
6 cans of cat food
5 FEATHER TOYS! (BUM-BA-DUM-BUM-BUM-BUM)
4 ribbon sticks
3 old strings
2 catnip things
And a scratching post shaped like a Christmas tree
(DUN DAH-DUN!) 

On the ninth day of Christmas, my owners gave to me…
9 laser dots
8 fluffy beds
7 cardboard boxes
6 cans of cat food
5 FEATHER TOYS! (BUM-BA-DUM-BUM-BUM-BUM)
4 ribbon sticks
3 old strings
2 catnip things
And a scratching post shaped like a Christmas tree
(DUN DAH-DUN!) 

On the tenth day of Christmas, my owners gave to me…
10 little bells
9 laser dots
8 fluffy beds
7 cardboard boxes
6 cans of cat food
5 FEATHER TOYS! (BUM-BA-DUM-BUM-BUM-BUM)
4 ribbon sticks
3 old strings
2 catnip things
And a scratching post shaped like a Christmas tree
(DUN DAH-DUN!) 

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my owners gave to me…
11 acorns rolling
10 little bells
9 laser dots
8 fluffy beds
7 cardboard boxes
6 cans of cat food
5 FEATHER TOYS! (BUM-BA-DUM-BUM-BUM-BUM)
4 ribbon sticks
3 old strings
2 catnip things
And a scratching post shaped like a Christmas tree
(DUN DAH-DUN!) 

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my owners gave to me…
12 toilets flushing
11 acorns rolling
10 little bells
9 laser dots
8 fluffy beds
7 cardboard boxes
6 cans of cat food
5 FEATHER TOYS! (BUM-BA-DUM-BUM-BUM-BUM)
4 ribbon sticks
3 old strings
2 catnip things
And a scratching post shaped like a Christmas tree
(DUN DAH-DUN!) 

A Shadow Lullaby

(Featured in my novel Shadowbook, which you can read here)

Light has come, but still you keep
The Night in your folds, dark and deep
To protect you as you sleep. 
She holds you tight
Until twilight
When owls rise in silent flight.
Awaiting you is a moonlit field
A starlit grove, secrets concealed
Waiting still to be revealed.
Dream sweetly in Night’s warm embrace
Reposed in a hidden place
Til you see the moon’s shining face.
In the darkness, safe from harm
Night holds you in Her arms,
Night holds you in Her arms.

My Shadow

Sometimes I try to sleep

As the light fades,

Trying to see the shapes in the dark

Not fearing the creature that lurks behind me

I know who he is, I know his name,

That is a rare case.

The world tells me he is ugly. 

So ugly, I should lock him

Behind a door, with all the dark

So that no one could look upon his terrible face

But if I do, then he will be terrible.

Humanity has forever

Tried to conquer his kind,

To control them and get rid of them

But if you lock them up and ignore them, 

They will force their way out and take over you,

And then their terrible faces will show through you and your personality. 

The world thinks that they 

Will do this anyway

If you leave them out to frolick

That they are innately evil

When they really are just angry at being locked up and disrespected. 

We are told that we should fear them.

But I do not fear him. 

I opened the locked door to his lair.

Dared to look upon his face, and shake his hand.

I cannot see him,

Even if it was light,

I could not see him.

I can see him in my mind’s eye, though

And he is beautiful.

Beautiful!

Ethereally, terrifying beautiful, 

I may be told that this is a disguise,

To entice me, to hide his horrible true face

But I know who he is. 

And he is not ugly.

My anger,

My wildness,

Recklessness,

Sensuality,

Arrogance! 

I love him. 

I am not afraid.

And as I sit here

Listening to the night air, trying to hear

A voice, of a being 

That the world fears

More than they should

He wraps his dark wings around me

And genuinely, gratefully, loves me back. 

I sleep.

Jungian Shadow Complex summed up by a poem.